Longing for life!

I never thought about the being alive thing before. The two options available to my naive mind used to be alive or dead, simply that. And then, I grew up!. It is not that living these days in the desert made life worse, it's all these circumstances combined. 

Before getting married life was full of school, more school, work, traffic, family, friends, plans, travel. I used to sleep for 3 or 4 hours a day and considered that a waste of time. Things changed, a lot, no more school, far family, few or less friends, and for god's sake no life traffic. 

Usually I do well with the concept of being a stay at home mother is the greatest job and being responsible for lives and building humanity in these souls being the hardest job, but frankly there are no colleagues in there, No manager to report to, no life around the life we are talking about. It is so much like "living in the desert". It is completely untrue if I say I am unthankful for the gift I have, not for a second, but sometimes,it is nice if you feel alive, like you meet someone at the market that actually see you, and maybe go wild and say hi. It isn't this bad really, just most of the days are dull, quiet and empty. 

Can I change this? Yes I can. Why not? Cause I have priorities, and unfortunately "me" is number 7 or 8 I guess. Sometimes, we have this thing that you don't want to change cause no matter how hard it is now, you can't imagine living your life without it or living it differently in the minimum shot. I have kids, that am not willing for any reason to let anybody else but me to raise them. Am so strict with this subject and aware of all the available options but so far, since I didn't clone me yet, nothing is satisfying enough. So I  guess, till they both join school and I do a magical work in searching for a job, till then I will try to find a way where feeling alive can demonstrate itself without referring to the life I used to know. Trying hard to mentally survive living as a SAHM in Dubai.

Our story- How a true love survives!

I was a lonely, new school joiner,12 years old girl and sitting alone on my class desk. Just when that gorgeous new boy entered the class. For seconds my heart stopped beating and I saw the happiness of earth filling me. I saw him for the first time and after 17 years I never forgot how he looked,how i felt and not for a second stopped loving him. Ups and downs, teenagers and college students, we've been always there for each other. Our first real date was on the summer of our first year in college, we had a friend's fight and didn't see each other for two months. It was his birthday and I decided to make myself his present, when I showed up our date started, the special moment was him taking my hand forcing me in the most romantic way anybody ever knew to cut his cake and gave me his first portion. He lit a fire that was always there.
Two months later we met in a small garden caffe for a juice and a talk, he took my hands, kissed them and softly whispered I love you, that was all I needed of a proposal. Years later we got married and nothing was as beautiful as sharing life with him, but our happiest moment was holding together our first baby boy at 3a.m. In the morning for the first time. With him everyday is a memory that is worth being kept and cherished, maybe that's why we have billions of photos.
Our funniest moment happens at our wedding night. After the party, we went to our hotel room. I entered the bath room to remove my makeup, unfortunately, I forgot the door opened, and at the same moment of me removing the extension eyelashes, he was peeking! The look on his face was priceless and started shouting "Oh My God, you are fake!  next what? What other body parts you remove before sleep". It was a weird way to start a romantic night!